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COUNSELING FOR COUPLES
Relationships, particularly intimate ones, have the potential for offering each person tremendous growth.
They can be the most fulfilling and the most challenging of human experiences. Since most of us have
come from dysfunctional families, we need additional education and role models in order to become
successful in this arena.
The work Kathryn does with couples is tailored to their specific issues and desired outcomes. She functions
as a coach, a role model, and facilitator. She offers one or more of several perspectives to the work that
have proven to be useful.
Communication is the foundation for intimacy and most couples need some assistance in developing more
skill in listening to each other without their particular filters or conditioned responses. Kathryn often
coaches couples in the art of listening with empathy and a desire to bridge the emotional gap between
them. This good listening practice opens the way for win-win conflict resolution, another important aspect
of partnership work.
Frequently couples will be drawn to one another for things they feel they lack or wish to develop in
themselves. As the relationship progress, sometimes these qualities that were attractive become irritants
to us. In this scenario these differences often present opportunities for both partners to appreciate and
move toward each other’s position. For example, one person may like to save and the other to spend in
the moment. There are good things about both positions and some of each is the best course of action.
Helping the couple let go of judgment about the other’s position and instead recognize the gift that is
being offered becomes the basis for compromise.
Frequently one or both parties in the couple have had significant abuse in their history and need assistance
in unloading some of that baggage. It is sometimes appropriate for one or both partners to do some work
in individual counseling to address these wounds. Kathryn also assists the couple in understanding how
one’s behavior in the current relationship can trigger past hurts and how to respond in a more supportive
way when this happens.
Whatever the issues or differences in style and values, Kathryn plays an active role in the sessions, being
an advocate for both parties and the relationship. She also gives the couples exercises and/or reading or
video assignments to work on at home.
As in individual counseling, it is crucial that both parties feel comfortable with the counselor and Kathryn
offers a free initial consultation for the couple to meet and discuss their needs without obligation
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